Friday 8 October 2021

In Which We Discuss Burnout

 



I haven’t written a single word (with the exception of this blog post) since July. It's rather strange to share this situation with the NPOV readers, as writing is who I am. It’s what I do, my joy, my love. Or it always had been. Starting in May, the idea of writing gave me a stomach ache. Bad timing, of course, as I was in the middle of writing and editing the third book in my Olivia Sinclair series. Things were going well, the first draft was completed, but I was in such a hurry to finish that first draft and meet my deadline, that I wasn’t paying attention to my state of mind or the quality of the book. When my editor and I decided that a massive rewrite was necessary, instead of excitedly breaking out my red pen (I do love a good rewrite!), I hit the wall hard and started to panic. I was completely floored at the realization that I didn’t have the capacity to do any work at all on this book that was scheduled to be published in November. My creative well run completely dry.  

Part of me wanted to just continue to write, to push through this difficult period in my career. After all, I am a professional, right? Nope. Burnout is not a work ethic issue. My problem went deeper. Pushing through the difficulty wasn’t going to help me with my current situation.

I’ve never been a quitter, but stepping away from writing seemed the only thing to do. I needed a break, needed to put my feet on the floor in the morning without a deadline hanging over my head. Luckily, my publisher was able to grant me an extension. So with my looming deadline dealt with, I purposefully, and with more than a bit of difficulty, stopped all things related to writing. I went on long walks, cooked all the recipes I wanted to try, and tackled a long list of cleaning and sorting, all the while wondering when my well would be full.

Even though I wasn’t working, per se, I was jotting down notes on Post-Its, thinking of plots and stories, dreaming up heroes and those who would take them down. As expected, I quickly came to miss my time at the keyboard. But I also know that it’s not time to start writing yet. Although I'm not in a perpetual state of panic, my creative well is still dry. Turns out this break from the job I love is turning into a patience lesson. 

My writing career ran hot and fast for the past few years in a wonderful whirlwind of working with fabulous editors and connecting with readers who like what I write. The time proved blissful and satisfying, but utterly exhausting. I’m pooped. With a bit of luck, this break from my writing life will give me a deeper knowledge of my craft, and enrich my future prose with a greater understanding of who I am as a writer. While audio books (and the occasional Netflix binge) has provided me ample comfort during the time of creative crisis, getting back to my craft is the light that awaits at the end of this tunnel. I’ll get there. With any luck, I’ll be a better writer for it.

How about you? Have you ever suffered from professional/creative burnout? How did you work your way through? And, most importantly, when did you know your creative well was full? (Any advice appreciated!!!) 

 

12 comments:

  1. Fabulous post! I’ve been through the exact same thing. After rattling through the first 3 books in my cosy series, I had a big gap while I waited to hear about the contract for the next 3. I was still writing - my day job is scriptwriting - but when I finally got the go ahead and sat down to write book 4 - nothing. Total burnout. I did the same as you, I purposely gave myself a whole month off, wrote nothing, watched lots of Netflix! The need to write came back (thank god!) but I really needed that down time.

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    1. I'm so impressed that you got your groove back after one month. I am on month four and am not ready to start back yet.

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  2. So I'm busy whipping out about 2000 words a day and all is going well (Book 2), and then.....
    Its as if someone switched the tap off! Nothing. No story, no motivation.
    Also, as I already had a first book out, no sense of urgency.

    The most unpleasent feeling you can imagine as a writer. It IS coming back, slowly, and I'm not beating myself up about it and more.
    Maximum sympathy and support to anyone similarly affected.

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    1. John: I've been so committed to staying off the computer that I'm just now seeing all these comments. Shame on me! Anyway, I sympathize with you. It's been a few weeks since you wrote this comment. Are things coming back for you? I truly hope so.

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  3. Thanks so much for sharing, Terry. As you know, I have always been in awe of your work ethic and output, but it is equally inspiring that you have recognised when it's time to be gentle on yourself. I've never suffered writing burnout (but then I've never written to deadlines), however I did become weary of (debut) novel writing, with no idea if anyone would ever read my work, so signed up for a flash fiction workshop which totally recharged my batteries, and strengthened my writing too. Probably best to trust your instinct about when is right to return to writing. Sending a hug and restful vibes. x

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    1. Funny you should mention flash fiction because the idea of writing shorter pieces has piqued by interest. Not starting before I'm ready is definitely a challenge for me! And thanks for the compliment re output. Writing so fast was good for me at the time and helped me develop a strong writing muscle. Now I need to rub liniment on the muscle and rest. Thanks for the good vibes. Received and appreciated.

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  4. Thank you for sharing this, Terry. I think a lot of writers are frightened of admitting to this, but it is so common and I think most writers have to take a step away for a while.

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    1. It's a hard realization, but the stepping away, while difficult, has been really good for me. And I've absolutely given myself permission to slow down.

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  5. Gosh yes, Terry - been there, done that, got the T-shirt as the saying has it. It happens to so many. I have a dear friend with twenty novels under her belt, knocking them out with relative ease,and then her well, too dried. So she gave herself permission not to write. I've not written daily in a while which is what I did for years on the trot - even Sundays and Christmas Day. So it is ok not to be ok. Go gentle with yourself. And stock up on Post-Its!

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    1. Thanks, Linda. I have to tell you that once I came clean with what's going on, I've heard from so many writers that this is happening across the board right now. I think the expectation of so many books is taking it's toll. Off to purchase Post-Its!

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  6. Hitting a brick wall in the middle of writing a story has happened far too often for my liking and is totally frustrating. Hitting a brick wall -full stop - happened to me in 2013 due to family health issues which have been ongoing. Since then I have written very little at all. The ideas have dried up, and the few that turn up fly away the moment I sit down to write. This may not come under 'burn out' but up to that point I was happily turning out three books a year. Now it's one in three years if I'm lucky. So yes I fully understand your decision to respect your burnout and the frustration and desire to get back to work. I hope everything resolves itself for you soon.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story here! Three books a year is a lot! Wow. And when we get going, the joy of writing can take over and we don't even realize the well is diminishing. I'm glad you've found a gentle pace for yourself. I'm starting back to writing in January. Unless, of course, the well is still dry.

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