THE ART OF WRITING A LOVE LETTER by Victoria Cornwall

This week is Valentine's Day. A day for romance, when gifts and cards are exchanged to declare one's love. For many, in this world of digital messaging, it may be one of the few times their feelings of love are expressed by the pen. The art of letter writing is fading fast and with it, dare I say, is the art of writing a love letter. Yet when a woman receives a love letter, written from the heart by the man she loves, it will mean more than any card or bunch of flowers bought on the way home from work.

Why? Because writing a love letter takes time, deep thought, is personal and unique. It opens a window to the writer's thoughts that he/she may find difficult to express in words. If written well and the feelings are returned, the recipient feels valued and connected on a deeper level than before.

Keely Chace gave her top tips for writing a love letter to him on the Hallmark website.

Make him feel it from the start.
ie My Darling …
Mention why you’re writing.
It might be an occasion like Valentine’s Day, but I just felt like telling you…is also a good reason.
Affirm him.
What do you like about him and/or what are you grateful for?
See the future.
What are you looking forward to together? Seeing him tonight? Still loving him when he’s 64?
Finish strong.
with an affectionate signing off such as All my love, Forever yours, Tenderly, Your loving wife…etc.

Her tips certainly give a template, although perhaps a love letter written from the heart is more genuine than one following a step by step guide.

What advice would a man give to a man? Tom Chiarella from Esquire says "A good love letter declares itself plainly, then illustrates particularly.... Let the example precede sentiment. .... Don't repeat yourself. Emotional declarations matter more if you make them one at a time, space them a little....Let her know that she is redefining your terms."

What elements do I think a love letter should have? For me a love letter holds more value when it is not in response to an earlier argument and therefore has no agenda. It should be written with care, thought and love, sharing heartfelt feelings of how much the recipient means to them. It should not be too long or too complicated, nor too brief.

I think we all have a love letter inside us, but perhaps not all of us are brave enough to expose our innermost feelings. If a full letter is too exposing, than perhaps a heartfelt signing off could be a good place to start. Despite leading the country in the second world war, Winston Churchill still felt able to sign his letters to his wife in the most affectionate terms.

"Sweet cat—I kiss your vision as it rises before my mind. Your dear heart throbs often in my own. God bless you darling keep you safe & sound." 

Winston Churchill

One takes a risk when penning a love letter in this day and age. Love letters, written in solitude and given in confidence, can be shared on the internet within seconds. However, whenever I read one I only think how lucky the recipient is, to have someone love them as deeply as the person who penned the letter.

"I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever previous – your heart, your soul. Beauty one could get to know and fall in love with in one hour and cease to love it as speedily; but the soul one must learn to know. Believe me, nothing on earth is given without labour, even love, the most beautiful and natural of feelings." 

Leo Tolstoy to Valeria Arsenev (November, 1856)

"…I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, .with all your undumb letters, would never write so elementary a phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it should lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal.

So this letter is really just a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any more by giving myself away like this — But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defenses. And I don’t really resent it."

Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf

A well crafted love letter is special indeed, and even more so when it is written by the one you love. Should you receive one, cherish it and revisit it, for someone has been brave enough to open their hearts to you and, more importantly, feel you are worth the risk to do so.

By Victoria Cornwall

Author of

The Thief's Daughter

&

The Captain's Daughter